Lawsuit Fan Gifts

"I'm afraid it's a bad case of libel!"

'How do you plead, in twenty-five words or less?'

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

The Birth of a Lawsuit

'It's a treasure map.'

"I made my money the old fashioned way...a team of high priced lawyers litigating round the clock."

"I'm pre-legal analysis."

'What do we do about this online order for 6,000 rounds of ammo, an assault rifle, an automatic handgun and a shotgun?'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."

'When London Bridge fell down, how much was the contractor sued for?'

'Whoops. There goes one of my prostheses.'

"Have you heard of Murphy's Law 2.0? It's anything that could possibly go wrong often does...as well as a thing or two that couldn't possibly go wrong."

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'Hey, I made a hole in Juan.'

'Our class-action suit covers any carbon-based life forms.'

"I wouldn't want to be in your shoes."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

"Shister and Shyster Attorneys at law"

"I think I've lost a step with age. Instead of suing I usually just wind up counter suing."

'Any gunslingers in your family? You're certainly 'Quick on the draw'.'

So...who is your provider ?

'My client was hit by space junk...we need to know who in the world is responsible so we can sue!'

Who to Sue Today.

'I'm sorry, but the only person Mr. McCoy is looking to hire right now is a good criminal defense lawyer. But I'll be happy to pass you resume on to him.'

'Ow. We are suing you for repetitive strain injury.'

"You're a victim of circumstances? Perfect! I specialize in suing circumstances!"

'Let's see you reverse this, Switherton!'

'Going public? That's the lawsuit-filled, media scrutinized period between being private and going private.'

'Susan, this is my lawyer. He goes with me everywhere in case I have to sue someone.'

"I guess you should have read the fine print on that tag before you ripped it off the mattress."