Legal Affairs Fan Gifts

'Let's see you reverse this, Switherton!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Wal-Mart Ruling

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Not guilty?"

Violent Crime Statistics

"He'll only talk when his lawyer's present."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Lady Justice.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'