Legal Drama Fan Gifts

'You have been tried and convicted of insider trading. Have you any last tips to offer before I pronounce sentence?'

'It's quite a class-action suit, Sire -- you versus everybody else.'

"Not guilty?"

"Father, do you mind if my attorney sits in on my confession?"

'What do you mean, I'm too judgemental?'

'You want the tooth?! You can't handle the tooth!'

"Meat cleaver this, meat cleaver that. How am I supposed to get a fair trial if they keep bringing up the meat cleaver?"

'I understand Benson is the principle partner here.'

'That Copier is Out of Order!'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

"Isn't it true you were offered a special deal by the prosecutor, in exchange for your testimony?"

"I need to borrow enough to cover my legal expenses for bank fraud."

'Screw up and take out a canine and it's gonna be Subpoena City.'

"I trust my late husband didn't leave any nasty surprises?"

'Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, is this the face of a good dog? No! This is the face of a bad dog! Bad! Bad dog!!'

Forget the chart, we got a real problem, the shredder's broken!

'I've outsourced the toy-making production and ramped up the legal department.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

Man falling over - "Sexual harassment Mr Wiltshire, I'll see you in court."

'I blew the whistle on my second employer as soon as I got my second wind.'

"Here's our verdict. Can we go now?"

'It's a long shot, but we're going to try the 'let bygones be bygones' defense.'

'I'm doing 30 days for fiddling my expenses.'

Their case having fallen apart, the defense pleads NGBOJWG -- 'not guilty because O.J. wasn't guilty.'

3 Ways of Dealing with Conflict

"My client is willing to settle. Do you still have the leg?"

"Doesn't it bother you that somewhere down the line we may get indicted or convicted of something?"

"It was a simple case of mistaken identity. Nobody's fault – I always carry more than one set of ID."

"It doesn't look good. They found your DNA all over the chairs, beds and porridge spoons."

'Can he call you back? He's being read his Miranda rights!'

"Oh my gosh, you're RIGHT! The boundary between our franchise territories is 54th Street! I'm so sorry, guy! My fault entirely!"

'Well, that may be the law, Your Honor, but I don't think it should apply to me.'

'This is the first time I've ever heard of someone stealing a moped to go on a joyride.'

"Please read back that last remark in a more murdery voice."

Now I'll read your father's 6th will and testament, which I'm sure you know may change a few more times.