Legal Affairs Fan Prints

'Let's see you reverse this, Switherton!'

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

Wal-Mart Ruling

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

"Before we begin, I'd like to say that in thirty years as an attorney, I've never encountered a more interesting departure from the standard last will and testament."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

"Not guilty?"

Violent Crime Statistics

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Lady Justice.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'You're the watchdog. Do you honestly expect us to believe you didn't see anything?'

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

"There's no need for your kitty to be envious. After state and federal taxes and legal administrative fees, Chessy's share of Aunt Martha's estate came to hardly anything."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'No need to text me the answer to that. I'm right here.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'Do your lawyers have to be here?'