Legal Process Aficionado Gifts

"Any word on my appeal?"

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Your Honor, we're going to go with the prosecution's spin."

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Ruth Bader Ginsburg - Forever Supreme

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

Violent Crime Statistics

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Lady Justice.

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

Musuem. Galileo did an experiment by dropping cannonballs from the Tower of Pisa. I wonder what he discovered? Personal injury lawsuits!

"...And the court awards you twenty five thousand for the loss of faculty in your right arm."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Haven't you ever heard of the first amendment?"

They Are Not Going to Take Me

'If crime doesn't pay, how come there're so many criminal lawyers?'

Elon Musk in fly me to the moon

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"I was caught and released. But according to news reports, I remain a fish of interest."

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to sue, and he'll eat for a lifetime."