Law Aficionado Gifts

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

Danger! Litigators, retrieve golf balls at your own risk.

'What you're asking me to do goes against my principles. I'll have to charge extra for that.'

"This firm has a long history of bringing gravitas to frivolous lawsuits."

'Sorry, but I can't tell you how I magically pop out of the hat: My contract has a non-disclosure clause...'

"My attorney says your attorney had to take the bar exam three times."

"Well, perhaps 'guilty' is too strong a word."

'Trust me, I've forgotten more about the law than this old fool of a judge has ever known.'

"Your honor, this photo is not my client's footprints in the mountain snow. This is a belly button full of lint because the officer had his body camera on backwards."

'Father, I plead the 5th Amendment...'

The New 'Science'

"Mr. President, you can't revoke any of the ten commandments by an executive order."

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"For the last time! No more DNA evidence!!"

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

'How come everything I like is always unconstitutional?'

"Save my seat."

"Your suit is without merit, but I admire the effort."

'I've stopped you so often I've decided to give you a season ticket.'

"Wouldn't it be nice if supreme court justices had groupies and rock stars had dissenters."

''Mobster'? -- I thought I agreed to testify against a lobster!'

Law Firm But Fair.

'Don't get all Constitutiony on me, counselor!'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

'Oh, no! They've got a Swiss-army defence lawyer!'

'Sorry your legislation was ruled unconstitutional, Ferguson, but it was fun while it lasted!'

'Donut shop is down the hall to your right - and I'm not answering any more questions without my lawyer present.'

Constitution of the United States (First Draft)

Bending the law

'Hey, I don't agree with the new clauses in this new symbiosis contract...'

'If you have nothing to hide, why are you hiding?'

'First of all, get yourself a good lawyer. I highly recommend anyone but mine.'

"Hey, the Constitution isn't engraved in stone."

"They just made a little money the old-fashioned way, Ben–they stole it."