Legal Process Pillows

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'We're appealing your case all the way until your money runs out.'

'If you help a criminal before the crime your an accomplice, If you help afterwards, you're a lawyer.'

US Justice On A Snail.

Overruled

Counselor, you're bullying the witness. It's part of the endless cycle of bullying, your honor: Judge bullies lawyer, lawyer bullies witness, witness bullies pet goldfish.

Caution: Lawyers & Riff-Raff Next 50 Yards.

'Well, yes. We do normally offer to represent clients on a 'no win, no fee' basis. But yours looks more like a 'no win, no chance' case.'

Trial by Media

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Barristers

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"I've learned something in this trial. My firm needs to hire that prosecutor."

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Wow! I never before saw such a strenuous objection.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Better that a hundred guilty men go free than one innocent man be convicted, right?"

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

"In a just world we'd have 'No Lawyer Left Behind'."

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Sue The Bastards

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

'Let's try it again. And this time, don't cross your fingers.'