Judicial Process Pillows

Judge Roberts

The Court of Public Opinion

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'G is for the God-awful food we were served...U is for the uncomfortable chairs...'

Disorder in the Court!

Trial by Media

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

Truth

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

"Well, heck! If all you smart cookies agree, who am I to dissent?"

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

Sue The Bastards

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"'Season's Greetings' looks O.K. to me. Let's run it by the legal department."

"Isn't it true that the prosecution offered you a bone to testify?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

'Watch what you admit to. He once tried to fine one of my clients for looking a gift horse in the mouth.'

'I don't suppose there's any way I could serve my sentence on line?'

"Manafort's was the best flip yet."

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

Antonin Scalia

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

"Miss Antonacci, please have a regular coffee and a cheese Danish remanded to my chambers."

Judge to attorneys in courtroom wearing boxing gloves: 'Looks like you're both ready for your opening arguments, gentlemen?'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

Counsel's Opinion.