Courtroom Dynamics Gifts

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"Burglary is in the eye of the beholder? That's a new on on me, counselor."

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

Barrister laughing at the judge's jokes

'Not guilty, your 'onour.'

'You're on trial for grand theft larceny -- you can't choose to remain anonymous!'

'But, Your Honor -- parole violation is a victimless crime!'

'...Plus thirty days for not turning off your damn cell phone!'

'Did you not describe my client as a 'libel tourist'?'

Lawyer objects to hearsay.

'The good news for you is that I'm due to win a case.'

If you're a defendant, this necktie has 'innocent' written all over it.

'It's nothing personal , Prescott. It's just that a higher court gets a kick out of overruling a lower court.'

"Guilty. I sentence you to six months of jury duty."

"Objection denied."

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Objection, deliberately misleading the witness.'

'You're charged with being an accessory before, during and after the fact ... '

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

'Guilty!?! For crying out loud! If I was the one who stole the $10,000,000 - don't you think I could afford a better lawyer than this clown?!?'

Trial by Media

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

Questions about an old case refuse to go away. . .

I love Lawyers

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Now that's a win."

'Normally, I hate a rush to judgement - but I'm doing this case pro bono.'

"Since you have already been convicted by the media, I imagine we can wrap this up pretty quickly."