Courtroom Strategies Gifts

'How much would it cost me to ask you a question?' - 'What's your second question?'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

"Turn off cell phones violators will be over ruled."

'It wasn't a hate crime, Your Honor — I actually kind of liked the guy.'

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

'Hmmm...It is: innocent until proven guilty? Or is it: guilty until proven innocent?'

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"In view of the new evidence, my client would like to change his plea to 'guilty-ish', M'Lud."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'Brain surgery, right?'

I know "Ignorance of the law is no excuse" applies to defendants your honor, but

Time is running out for Julian Assange.

'You'll make lots of money and eat a little caca... that's what attorneys do.'

"Whereupon the defendant let out a very sharp, hard-edged laugh that fell to the floor and painfully injured the plaintiff's right foot!"

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

I think I'd like to make a motion at this time, your honor, but I cut a lot of classes in law school, and I'm not sure if I should make a motion to strike, or compel, or set aside a judgment, or

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

'My husband is a very large, loud and obnoxious man. OK, sure, I tried to hire a hit man. But just to hit him.'

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

"And if, in court, you need to varnish the truth, don't make it high gloss."

"I don't like the looks of this! That's our jury consultant!"

"As soon as I get the paperwork together I'll file an appeal. Sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day."

Look at what your verdict is doing to my complexion!

'On the other hand, if we accept confessions extracted under torture then soon they won't need lawyers.'

'Who do you think you're kidding? -- Guns don't have power surges!'

I'd like to see you in chambers, Mr. Fusco. I'm sorry. I don

'You're charged with being an accessory before, during and after the fact ... '

"You've been chewed up and spitout by some very prestigious firms."

'My instincts and intuitions are on opposing sides on this legal strategy.'