Courtside Strategist Gifts

'Must be coach Johnson's place.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'How about a game of cards?'

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

'What do lawyers really want, Mr. Montague?'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

I Litigate Therefore I Am.

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'Our only option is to improve quality or hire more lawyers.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

'...youngsters need to be shown how the law REALLY works if they want a career in it!'

'Brain surgery, right?'

Time is running out for Julian Assange.

"Of course, if you get your client off in the initial trial you're throwing away the appeal fee."

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

'You'll make lots of money and eat a little caca... that's what attorneys do.'

"No, he's not grounded anymore. He used his allowance and lawyered up."

Restrictive Abortion Laws

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Corporate Lawyers

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

Sports Lawyers

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

"Well, we saved this attorney. Some poacher shot him and removed his highly-prized fin."

'Not to worry, I've handled hundreds of cases like this and the way I see it, I'm bound to win one sooner or later.'

'We have obligations to our stockholders, our employees and our community - Fortunately, Henderson in legal has found a loophole.'

'Might as well get comfortable. The appeal process can take forever.'

'I think our filing system is a little too obvious.'

Truth, justice and a damn good lawyer.

'My client will give up the castle, as long as it is not an admission of defeat.'