Therapy Participant Gifts

'Life can be tough, Peel.' - 'Yes.' - 'But you have to stay positive.' - 'Yes' - 'You have to keep telling yourself, 'This loser is funding my holiday to Hawaii.' - 'Yes.'

Life can be beautiful, Al. But for you, the fly in the ointment is your self-loathing. So, my question to you is, what's the fly doing in the ointment? The backstroke!

'£400 for three hours treatment. You must think I'm crazy.'

'They're just feelings. You don't have to act on them. There's no reason to have stage fright.'

'Welcome to sex addicts anonymous. It appears that we are missing a chair so who would like me to sit on their lap?'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

Pet a Puppy

Couples' therapy

Window Treatment

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"Client screamed, "I HATE SPRING!" and continued to have a meltdown. Diagnosis: Seasonal Affective Disorder."

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."