Therapy Session Observer Gifts

"It was the classic fight or flight response. Next time, try flight."

Couple fighting while marriage counsellor takes notes.

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"When he said you were, 'gregarious', he wasn't calling you fat."

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

Dog Park / Cat Park

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

'Whatever it is, you've got it bad and that ain't good.'

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

'Life can be tough, Peel.' - 'Yes.' - 'But you have to stay positive.' - 'Yes' - 'You have to keep telling yourself, 'This loser is funding my holiday to Hawaii.' - 'Yes.'

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

"Do you feel you were loved as a tadpole?"

'I wouldn't worry about a poor sense of direction...'

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

Psychiatry. I know I've lost touch with reality, but in my defense, reality started it.

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

Life can be beautiful, Al. But for you, the fly in the ointment is your self-loathing. So, my question to you is, what's the fly doing in the ointment? The backstroke!

"Tell me..How do you feel about being abducted?"

'So, who's not a happy bunny?'

The baseball players psychiatrist.

'What I hate most is coming home and having all those damn Harleys parked in my driveway!'

As an experienced counsellor, she could see that their relationship had been doomed from the start.

'Are you having a mid-life crisis?', 'Let's hope so.'

"Your wife is here to shed some light on your version of the story."

'No... you first.'

"I have a recurring dream that I have a recurring dream, but I can't remember what it is!"

"Trust me, this place is worth the wait."

"Oh, here's the problem. He's got a doohickey on his thingamabob."

Man to patient on couch: 'I'd like to help, but I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm an upholsterer.'