Therapy Clients Gifts

"Have you tried jet skiing? - I've never seen an unhappy jet skier."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Pet a Puppy

Couples' therapy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I hate Mondays.'

'We have three minutes left.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"