Therapy Goers Gifts

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"Listen, all I remember is that I blacked out right before saying anything incriminating."

'When my folks left for the evening, my little sister was always in charge...'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Pet a Puppy

Couples' therapy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

Large Emoticon Collider

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."