Group Therapy Goers Gifts

Support Groups Meet Here

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"Here we are."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

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'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

"And that's when the therapist suggested… exposure therapy!"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

"I feel terrible admitting this, but I'm sort of glad he's dead. One less thing to keep track of."

"It's just a beginning, I suppose, but I'm feeling really good about my clothes."

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

'To foster a sense of trust, I always like to end each session with a group hug.'

Support groups for car repairs.

"Don't be afraid to laugh at your problems. Everyone else does!"

'I hear you're quite an advocate of group therapy.'

"Frank's always been afraid of change."

"I feel proud of the success I've made, thanks for all your support."

Shrink Saloon.

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

Latest support group: British actors who couldn't get a part in the Harry Potter films.

I'd like to apologize for some of the crazy things I've said today, Al. Apparently, while you, yourself, do not suffer from insanity, you're a carrier.

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

"You can probably tell we're a close knit family..."

"We need to dig even deeper. You still seem to be avoiding the real problem."

"Please join me now in a group meditation."

"Listen, all I remember is that I blacked out right before saying anything incriminating."

"I provided the comic relief and said all the right things like 'Yee haw!' And 'You got that right, boss!' . . . But he ditched me anyway!"