Attending Therapy Gifts

"You can probably tell we're a close knit family..."

'He has this absurd notion that I don't trust him.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

Large Emoticon Collider

'Well . .a cigar IS just a cigar...do you understand?'

'Why do you keep asking me if I live over the premises?'

'He insists on talking while I'm interrupting.'

'Will this take long?'

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Couples' therapy

Pet a Puppy

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'I knew things were getting out of hand when I went from snips, to snails, to puppy dogs tails....'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."