Attending Therapy Pillows

'He has this absurd notion that I don't trust him.'

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

"It's his body language. All I hear is snorting, burping, and ominous rumblings from his lower extremities."

Large Emoticon Collider

'Well . .a cigar IS just a cigar...do you understand?'

'Why do you keep asking me if I live over the premises?'

'He insists on talking while I'm interrupting.'

'Will this take long?'

Licensed Therapist

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Pet a Puppy

Couples' therapy

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'We have three minutes left.'