Therapy Attendee Pillows

"I'm so conflicted these days that when I dine alone, I ask for separate checks."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

Couples' therapy

Window Treatment

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Large Emoticon Collider

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"'Meetingpalooza' sounded better in the brochure."

"And finally, I'd like to take any questions from the floor."

'We have three minutes left.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'