Therapy Session Attendee Pillows

'No... you first.'

Advice for the narcissist.

"Any chance of a longer couch?"

Bob had to confront his fear of butterflies.

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

Large Emoticon Collider

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

My therapist cured me of using humour as a defense...these days I pack a .45.

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

"Did you honestly expect our couples therapist to know when Jacoby Ellsbury will be off the disabled list?!"

Man on psychiatrist's couch: 'It was a cry for help, really - I tried to slash my wrists with rollerblades.'

"Hello Mum .. The Doc wants to know if I have difficulty making decisions. What do you think?"

'Life can be tough, Peel.' - 'Yes.' - 'But you have to stay positive.' - 'Yes' - 'You have to keep telling yourself, 'This loser is funding my holiday to Hawaii.' - 'Yes.'

'I told you he had a temper.'

"Adolescence can be a very trying time, Mr. Alcorn."

"Do you feel you were loved as a tadpole?"

"I feel like we're finally making progress."

"Have you ever heard anyone yell 'EEEK! A psychiatrist!'?"

'The only reason she keeps me is to rub out her bed wrinkles.'

A therapist laughing behind the back of his patient who is an upset looking clown.

'My therapist cured me of using humour as a defence, these days I pack a .45.'

'And now Patrick will tell us how music has helped him with his problems.'

'You seem pretty wound up today.'

'I can't even watch football on TV. When they go into a huddle I'm sure they're talking about me.'

'So, who's not a happy bunny?'

"Tell me..How do you feel about being abducted?"

'Do you ever communicate as a family by just speaking?'