Therapy Goer Pillows

'Read all about it! My therapy group says I have an irrational need to be the center of attention.'

'How long have you had this need to be in control?'

'If you knew that economics was the 'dismal science,' why did you become an economist?'

"We need to dig even deeper. You still seem to be avoiding the real problem."

'I've got it made in the shade. What worries me is sunshine.'

'Sometimes I think if it wasn't for Lucy here, I'd go mad.'

"Don't be afraid to laugh at your problems. Everyone else does!"

"Some people lift you up, others put you down...get over it, that's life!"

"We're getting nowhere. First you won't admit you have a problem, then you do, and now you say it's all a big hoax."

'i don't know why people find me offensive, you tell me, you silly old bad headed twit.'

'Hi, my name is Phil and I'm redundant.'

SGive a gift a friend isn't expecting...screaming telegram.

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'Now, now, the fact that no one has stolen your identity doesn't mean there's something wrong with it.'

'My best friend snarled at me this morning!'

Passive Aggressive Support Group

"And this deep-seated delusion that you're basically a good person... did that start in childhood?"

"Had a great meeting with my new therapist. He even wanted to play cards, but said he couldn't find a full deck."

"I hate my mood swings."

Chocoholics Anonymous

"And, on top of that, she's been seeing another counsellor behind our backs."

"Frank's always been afraid of change."

'C'mon, what are you, nuts?'

"It's just a beginning, I suppose, but I'm feeling really good about my clothes."

"Your sense of loss, … Is it youth, .. Innocence, hopes and dreams, of is it actually sheep?"

My name's Bill, and I'm forgetful. Hi, Carl! Forgetful Folks Support Group.

I feel like I'm starting to hate everyone, doc. Dr. Noodle. I hate the stranger who shook his head in disgust at me when he saw I was in an interracial relationship. I hate the lady who cut me off in traffic and almost ran me off the road this morning. I hate the dentist who convinced me I needed a $350 mouth guard when I could've bought one just as good for $25 at Target. I hate the girl scout who sold me six disgusting boxes of ten-year-old Samoa cookies. That's ... ten? I hate myself for not

I'd like to apologize for some of the crazy things I've said today, Al. Apparently, while you, yourself, do not suffer from insanity, you're a carrier.

Last night I was in a seafood restaurant and I noticed that all of the sliced lemons were wering shower caps. That's so that when you squeeze the lemon, it doesn't spray your dinner companion. So I was told. My point is that as long as there ar people putting shower caps on lemons, I'm not as crazy as I thought I was.

The only good thing about my recurring nightmare is that it's slightly better than my recurring days.

Support Group Chairs Support Group

'And to make things worse, I don't get on well with my computer either.'

'The nymphomania doesn't bother me. It's just that I never have time for my housework.'

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

'Edgworth has come to terms with himself. He likes himself very much, but he can't stand anyone else.'