Therapy Seeker Pillows

'I gotta go - we're discussing my compulsive communicatoins disorder.'

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

'What makes you feel that you, and you alone, can save the world?'

'You won't get me to sit on the couch and discuss my obsession until I straighten things up, Dr Hunter.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'You must be the tenth doctor who's told me I'm suffering from paranoia. What is this, some kind of conspiracy?'

"And how does that make you feel about your father?"

"Enough about the pandemic, just tell me about your mother...."

Turmoil change.

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

'How are the new relaxation techniques going?'

"You're too defensive."

Doctor to patient: 'Tell me about these melon-collie feelings.'

'To help you overcome your fear of death, I want you to hug the Mr. Death doll...'

The short attention span support group will be meeti...

'After you finish validating me,could you validate my parking receipt,doctor?'

'At eighty five dollars an hour, I expect to be allowed up on the couch.'

Giant brain with an arrow through it sits on Freud's psychiatric couch.

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

The big questions in life.

Pet a Puppy

"I hate my job!"

The Physiciatrist...

'I'm involved in a love triangle with money and real estate.'

"I could never please my father. Whenever I did something he didn't approve of, he'd threaten to go public."

'It's about my claustrophobia, doctor.'

'Okay, now it's your turn, you LITTLE JERK!'

"A lot of the anger I expressed in the past was inappropriate and I want to apologize. I'm in anger therapy now, but I've only just begun, so make it snappy."

Psychologist & Policeman

Drive-through Therapy: "I don't feel road-worthy."

Well, I feel a lot better - he says there's a method to my madness.

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

mr godzilla you need anger management

'You tell me that I should forget the past and go on with my life But doctor, I am the history teacher'