Therapy Fun-seeker Pillows

'Hey, somebody intentionally greased this couch so I'd slip off.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

'He lives for his holidays.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

Pet a Puppy

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

My Brother Al once went through a period of depression, your honor. He would just sit around in his robe all day. Then his psychiatrist got him out of his funk. Would you like to have his doctor's phone number? ? ?

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'I have multiple personalities and they are all following me on Twitter.'

Clownfish entertain sea life by hitting each other in the face with octopi.

"I've finally found a therapist who understands options."

"Let's break the record for non-stop deranged barking."

If you're happy and you know it...

Joe's 'Talent-Optional' Karaoke Bar

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

The search for Bigfoot continues for a group of women who know that if his feet are THAT big...

The Physiciatrist...

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

'I gotta admit it doc. . . My wife was right, a little time on the couch and I already feel better.'

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

Pesky students.

'I hate all holidays!'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'