Therapy Seeks Pillows

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

Licensed Therapist

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"How's your insomnia?" "Bad, I can't even fall sleep during meetings."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"The way he stacks those blocks, I see repression, some hostility, and a lot of dissatisfaction with his place in society."

"Postwar is hell."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

'I can't control my anger when people get too close to my kids...'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

"We'll always have couples therapy."

The trauma of losing.

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

Couples' therapy