Humorous Therapy Seeker Pillows

'And then instead of feeding me he would ring a little bell...'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

"Teach me not to care."

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

Sardine psychologist.

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"No heroic measures."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

Can I take your disorder?

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'