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'I gotta go - we're discussing my compulsive communicatoins disorder.'

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

'What makes you feel that you, and you alone, can save the world?'

'You won't get me to sit on the couch and discuss my obsession until I straighten things up, Dr Hunter.'

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

'You must be the tenth doctor who's told me I'm suffering from paranoia. What is this, some kind of conspiracy?'

"And how does that make you feel about your father?"

"Enough about the pandemic, just tell me about your mother...."

'She doesn't know that listening is not the same as mentally rehearsing her answers.'

Turmoil change.

'How are the new relaxation techniques going?'

"You're too defensive."

Doctor to patient: 'Tell me about these melon-collie feelings.'

'After you finish validating me,could you validate my parking receipt,doctor?'

Pet a Puppy

The Physiciatrist...

'At eighty five dollars an hour, I expect to be allowed up on the couch.'

Giant brain with an arrow through it sits on Freud's psychiatric couch.

"Maybe I'm just making a mountain out of a molehill. I do that a lot."

'Can paperwork be accused of bullying?'

'Future shock, ech? Tell you what — I'm going to put you on'Mr. Ed' reruns.'

"It all began when I was a boy. The aroma of freshly baked bread was everywhere, choking me with it's calm, soothing and nutritious lies..."

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"A lot of the anger I expressed in the past was inappropriate and I want to apologize. I'm in anger therapy now, but I've only just begun, so make it snappy."

'I wear safety glasses at work and I still don't feel safe.'

Depression clinic - closed 5-6pm for 'happy hour'.

"What a day! My therapy dog bit my life coach."

"You're right, Helen. Painting IS therapeutic."

'How long have you had these imaginary friends, Chuck?'

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

'I bought winter tyres and it didn't snow.'

'I have this overwhelming urge to clobber somebody.'

'I'm involved in a love triangle with money and real estate.'

Drive-through Therapy: "I don't feel road-worthy."