Medical Professional Banter Appreciator Gifts

A nurse Reports A Patient's Condition To The Doctor.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'You have a strawberry on your nose, I'll give you some cream to put on it!'

"Because we dismissed his original self-diagnosis, he wants to give us his second opinion."

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

The obstetrician doesn't need a close catcher...

"I stand corrected."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

'Good thing it has a child-proof cap.'

To encourage patients to take their medication, Dr. Gratner brought in a sketch artist to show them what they will look like in six months without meds.

"You'll feel a pinch and then a burn."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

I said, your bones ache because you’re old. I’m referring you to an archaeologist.

'The doctor will acknowlege your existance now.'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'Quick, do a background search and see if this doctor passed his boards!'

Brian surgeon squeezing brains from a tube.

'Restless Peg Syndrome.'

'The doctor will be with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Wait a minute…What operating system are you using?… Common techie question.

There's Nothing Worse Than A Staff Infection

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

"I like when we get organ transplants from New York because they always throw in a dozen bagels."

Give it to me straight, Doc, and don't poopcoat it.

'Can't you give the dummy mouth to mouth without getting romantically involved Mrs Wilks?'

'And I think you'll find something extra in your dessert, Hon.'

Until Bob entered her life, Lisa never even knew the meaning of the phrase 'acute multiple drug-resistant infection by transgenic Staphylococcus aureus.

Radiology, Cardiology and Fertility Clinic.

'It's caused by doing too many wrist curls, overindulging in spinach and... Excuse me. Everyone in here - stat - if you want to see an actual case of 'Popeye Syndrome'!'

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

"Of course I believe in unions - Where do you think we doctors would be without the A.M.A.?"

"So, when will we be getting the next batch?"

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

Prescriptions: "Jack of Clubs?"

"You won’t need refills."