Medical Mirthseeker Gifts

'In simple terms, it's your hard drive.'

"Garden variety allergies."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"I was able to consolidate all your prescriptions into a single pill."

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

'Except for his testosterone level being out of whack, Frankie is a normal 7-year-old.'

Reflex Testing -"...and you're sure you can't feel it"

'I'll take #1.'

Be A Doctor

"Your recovery has defied all known science...so let's just keep this between ourselves!"

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

"I just want to know if I'm healthy enough for bacon?"

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

Golf cart in the hospital.

"I realize your prescription bottle says 'Keep Tightly Closed', but you still need to take the medication!"

'I've done everything that medical science can do...now I suggest you sacrifice a goat to Nagoomba.'

'Don't worry about the side effects. You already suffer from all the side effects caused by this medication.'

'Wait! Let me clip my nails first.'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."