Medical Mirth Explorer Gifts

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"Garden variety allergies."

'Who wants to be examined first?'

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Moo-Magrams Exams

'It's a chicken.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

'Feed a cold, starve the plague.'

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

DNA doctor

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Golf cart in the hospital.

"By my count, that is the 27th last cast."

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

'Our experimental laser O.R. is in there.'

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'I keep getting stomach cramps after eating.' - 'You're probably intolerant to certain foods.' - 'Can you test for that?' - 'Yes, just eat things one by one and see what makes you ill.' - 'Won't that be slow and painful?' - 'Fingers crossed.'

Patient Escaping from the Operating Theatre.

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'