Medical Mirth Explorer Gifts

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Garden variety allergies."

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

'It's a chicken.'

'Can't you be happy without forever whistling?'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'Feed a cold, starve the plague.'

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

"I'm afraid we're going to have to remove your appendix."

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

DNA doctor

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Golf cart in the hospital.

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

'Our experimental laser O.R. is in there.'

"His last words were 'Yodel-ay-he-hoo.'"

"By my count, that is the 27th last cast."

I suppose this probably counts as an adverse event.

'His mother wants to know if you'll give him a haircut after you remove his tonsils.'

'Next time make sure it's the bath plug before you pull it out.'

'I keep getting stomach cramps after eating.' - 'You're probably intolerant to certain foods.' - 'Can you test for that?' - 'Yes, just eat things one by one and see what makes you ill.' - 'Won't that be slow and painful?' - 'Fingers crossed.'

Patient Escaping from the Operating Theatre.

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

'Well, that didn't go too badly, but I did have a brief rotisserie flashback.'