Medical Mirth Master Gifts

Postman Drops Off Post In Medical Building.

'I'm going to refer you to a specialist in that yucky feeling.'

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

MEDICAL SCHOOL, 'I didn't know you COULD specialize in insurance.'

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

'Who wants to be examined first?'

"Garden variety allergies."

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Satisfaction, stat!"

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

Antihistamine Rally At National Sinus Cavity

"Your sins are forgiven, but not your co-pay."

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'That's strange, all the monitors are going crazy again!'

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

Doctor who is a clown holding a syringe.

Victorious Vaccination Campaign

A medical office filing cabinet has drawer labels that read, 'X-Rays,' 'Lab Work,' and 'Exam Room Banter'

He said he loved her for her brain but was her appendix he was always taking out.

"That's the pill I gave the cat this afternoon!"

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

"He thinks he's invented a fluted, or grooved, top for pill bottles so that he can tip out a single pill rather than have a cascade of them rolling about on the kitchen or bathroom floor."

"Do a double-blind test. Give the new drug to rich patients and a placebo to the poor. No sense getting their hopes up. They couldn't afford it even if it works."

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"If you find anything else wrong, just go ahead and fix it."

Golf cart in the hospital.

'And just where did you study medicine?'

'Just jam one of these pills as far down his throat as you can, 3 times a day.'

"The doctor will give you your shot. I'm just going to referee."

Chicken soup is in an intravenous drip.