Medical Malpractice Mocker Gifts

'I hereby sentence you to 15 months in doctors' waiting rooms!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Less expensive equivalent.

Mismanagement Consultant.

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Mountain escalator.

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

Earplugs £2 a Pair

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

"You are perfectly healthy, your Highness."

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

Memo to all departments: NO!

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

"My wife says I bore people to death."

Arrogant OAP.

'I realize it's a bit strange, sir, but due to the new health information privacy laws, none of us is allowed to know your identity.'

"So, that's an extra - large pizza, burger, fries, a large milkshake and an echocardiogram..."

'I've got acid indigestion.'

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'