Medical Malpractice Mocker Pillows

'I hereby sentence you to 15 months in doctors' waiting rooms!'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Less expensive equivalent.

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Doctor, I can't feel my legs! I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms.

Mountain escalator.

'Good news! Your positives look negative.'

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"You are perfectly healthy, your Highness."

Earplugs £2 a Pair

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

Memo to all departments: NO!

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

"My wife says I bore people to death."

Arrogant OAP.

"So, that's an extra - large pizza, burger, fries, a large milkshake and an echocardiogram..."

'A second opinion would be appreciated only if confirms my opinion.'

'I've got acid indigestion.'

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'