Medicine Mocker Pillows

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

'I hereby sentence you to 15 months in doctors' waiting rooms!'

Mountain escalator.

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

Arrogant OAP.

"My wife says I bore people to death."

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Memo to all departments: NO!

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'Leave me the figures on my voicemail... I never check it.'

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

'We've called in a team of specialists to discuss how to pronounce your disease.'

Jesus' bones.