Medical_mockery_savant Gifts

"So, that's an extra - large pizza, burger, fries, a large milkshake and an echocardiogram..."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Virtual Doctor

'Oh, believe me -- you don't want to hear it in layman's terms!'

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

Saline Drip Sommelier.

"There are no such things as problems, only opportunities."

'Thanks, but I don't expect you to chew my food for me.'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"You'll be awake during the entire procedure. Your HMO won't cover the Anesthesia."

'There is a drug for Hypochondria... but the side-effects may actually make you sick!'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

'Your cat scan looks fine, your pet scan looks fine, your MRI looks fine, but your insurance reimbursement doesn't look fine.'

"According to your brain scan, you just don't want to go back to work."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

Hypochondria Hospital

'You'll be awake during the entire procedure...but no peeking!'

"...And this is Mable, who will assist me with the billing."

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

"We'd like to run a few tests on you to work the kinks out of it."

A sick sandwich is in the hospital and is getting a transfusion on new Maya and Zesty Mustard.

'It's important to treat all our patients as individuals...this for example is individual number 78/yh5-fg34c.'

'Yes I'm afraid this room is bugged, but don't worry, it's just Clostridium Difficile'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

Lady sees door sign next to ENT: 'Heads, Shoulders, Knees and Toes'.

'Do you want the pill, the suppository, the patch, or the app?'

'Where does it hurt?'