Medical Mockery Master Gifts

'We've called in a team of specialists to discuss how to pronounce your disease.'

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

Ice Cream Surgeon

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"And I want you to meet Coco, your anesthesiologist."

Doctor pulling golf caddy sees patient pulling oxygen caddy.

"Would you please step back to the machine while I make an adjustment?"

Vlad the Inhaler

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

We did a biopsy on the mole we removed, and it turns out it was just an old piece of chocolate.

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

'ooh! A womb with a view.'

'Maybe it is psychosomatic.'

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

I'm taking you off trying to stay young.

Virtual Doctor

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'It's the only known prevention for swine flu...Big bad wolf serum...'

What do MD and PHD mean? It means the doctor owes a lot of money in student loans.

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'We tend to favour more traditional anaesthetic techniques here.'

'It's a new technique for training interns: suture by numbers,'

"How long before the clinical trials are over?"

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

'I think it's damn unprofessional for a dermatologist to scream 'Yikes' like that.'

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

Cat Scan

Saline Drip Sommelier.

Doctor in a cake

'Oh, relax - you're doing great for your age...but I am a little concerned about out computer's old operating system.'

What do you say we team up to star in a sequel to "The Elephant Man" called "The Wolverine Boy"? !

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'