Medical Jokesters Gifts

'Okay, how did you do that?'

Subway Lawyer meets Subway Doctor

F. Uh-oh

'Deep thought may be some time.'

'What exactly is this darling, in case I have to describe to later to a doctor?'

Doctor testing patient's reflexes causes the patients' false teeth to fly out.

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

"Until the plaster sets, try not to laugh."

Virtual Doctor

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"So, let's catch a wellness wave!"

"Right here is your baby’s infrastructure, and in a month or so we’ll be able to see the analytics."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

'Take two and call me from the Emergency room.'

Dermatologist reading a 'Journal of Itchcraft'.

Cardiologist Henry Weil like to add some levity before surgery by hiding a whoopee cushion on the operating table.

'Could you stay out of the room for awhile, Nurse? -- Every time you walk in here, his testosterone levels surge.'

"When you're ready, I'm going to stand on my hind legs, and lick it better."

'Don't worry about your heart - it will last you till the end of your days. . .!'

There aren't any serious side effects — just an occasional Elvis sighting.

Hypochondria Hospital

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

'Where does it hurt?'

Doctor to patient: 'I won't be asking about your three marriages. This isn't an invasive procedure.'

NHS Efficiency Drive

'Brain surgery, Harold? Have you lost your mind?!'

"Uh, try unplugging him, then plugging him back in."

Pharmaco. He writes drug side effect warnings. Ah, a health scare provider.

Heart Rate, Respiration, Insurance Remaining.

"I only came in to get my eyes done."

'You need a heart transplant, maybe two.'

"Next time you give CPR try not to use your tongue."

'Two scalpels and a nurses hat are missing...'

Why dogs are not hired to do bone scans

'Maybe we shouldn't have used the tail as the donor site for a skin graft.'