Mock Medic Gifts

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

Disorderlies

"Bobby Linderman - now, there's a doctor."

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

'I'm giving you a referral to Bobby Smith down the street.'

Little girl playing childrens hospital

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

"I've just performed a tonsillectomy on Daddy while he was asleep."

Boy playing doctors puts his sick dog to bed.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

'I hereby sentence you to 15 months in doctors' waiting rooms!'