Mock Medic T-Shirts

'Don't bite it. I have to check Daddy next.'

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"Bad news, Dad—you're brain-dead!"

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

"We did our best for your husband but his poor old health insurance was too weak..."

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

Disorderlies

'I'm sorry, Maam, but medical science still has a lot to learn about missing arms.'

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

"Bobby Linderman - now, there's a doctor."

Little girl playing childrens hospital

'I'm giving you a referral to Bobby Smith down the street.'

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

"I've just performed a tonsillectomy on Daddy while he was asleep."

Boy playing doctors puts his sick dog to bed.

'Ok, there's some duct tape. Are you happy now, Mr. Prima Donna?...'

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"