Managerial Mocker Gifts

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

"Best project manager we ever had."

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Mountain escalator.

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Memo to all departments: NO!

"My wife says I bore people to death."

'Motivational poster,'

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

'Leave me the figures on my voicemail... I never check it.'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

Yoga Trash Talk

Jesus' bones.

Zoo keeper throwing food to himself.

Hague Convention Defied! Repelling an Assault of Flu Germs

"Down here every day is Monday."