Political Mocker Gifts

Jesus' bones.

The Adventures of God

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Mountain escalator.

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Politics Books

"Kevin gerrymandered our room again!!"

Memo to all departments: NO!

Members only.

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

'Leadership challenge? No chance!'

'Leave me the figures on my voicemail... I never check it.'

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'