Political Mocker Gifts

Jesus' bones.

The Adventures of God

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Mountain escalator.

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

Earplugs £2 a Pair

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

Politics Books

"Kevin gerrymandered our room again!!"

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Memo to all departments: NO!

Members only.

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

'Leave me the figures on my voicemail... I never check it.'

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'Leadership challenge? No chance!'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'