Musical Mocker Gifts

Cows chasing bagpipes player.

The Adventures of God

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

"My wife says I bore people to death."

'Motivational poster,'

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

Of all the days to sleep in!

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

"This is a piece of crap."

Freak Show

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'Leave me the figures on my voicemail... I never check it.'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

Jesus' bones.

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Northerners see a fashionable stranger and suggest throwing a brick at him

"Down here every day is Monday."

Hague Convention Defied! Repelling an Assault of Flu Germs

Gala Benefit

The movie is so bad the server recommends ventilation.

All Nude Dogs.