Medieval Mocker Gifts

'Hmm...needs refining.'

The Adventures of God

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

Mountain escalator.

Earplugs £2 a Pair

'How much is that yuppy in the window?'

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

Arrogant OAP.

'For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until you wish you were dead?'

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

"Nice moat."

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

"He assumed the crown at a very young age."

"My Mother was right. She told me when I was eighteen, that if I married him it wouldnt last!"

"This is a piece of crap."

'. . . while the weight of the armour . . .'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

Freak Show

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Jesus' bones.

"Down here every day is Monday."

"He's a model husband...but not a working model."

Hague Convention Defied! Repelling an Assault of Flu Germs

Gala Benefit

"Um, O.K., yes, Boardwalk for Connecticut Avenue."