Divine Mocker Gifts

The Adventures of God

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Clown God

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

Vishnu playing twin neck guitar.

Newton's cradle

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"We use the proceeds to help offset the cost of your eternal salvation."

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"I want to take a vacation, but the last time I left you in charge your face appeared on a grilled cheese sandwich."

Swami Trevor's Brotherhood of Celestial Enlightenment

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

Mountain escalator.

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

"I'm thinking seven days and I'll do it in real time."

"I can't. You told him he could date after you came here."

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"I was rather hoping you'd tell me to beget!"

'Might have a bit of a tinker with gravity . . .'

Arrogant OAP.

'Well, she ate the apple -- I SAID you should have the whole thing catered.'

'Relax dear, the tide isn't due in for ages.'

'It's For You.'

"Oops - a leftover piece. Where does this go? Should I toss it? Why did I even create an appendix?"

Uh-Oh...

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"If marriage is so great how come you never hear about simulated marriage?"

"No, of course you can't appeal the decision. We don't have any lawyers up here."

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

"Looks like you have Heaven Basic."

'I think we're about to make a forced landing.'

"He can't see us from there, can he?"