Movie Mocker Gifts

The movie is so bad the server recommends ventilation.

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

Mountain escalator.

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

"My wife says I bore people to death."

Arrogant OAP.

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Memo to all departments: NO!

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

Of all the days to sleep in!

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Jesus' bones.