Meeting Mocker Gifts

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"The starred items are hot and spicy."

'Haven't you heard? We're not going to discuss the company picnic - this is the company picnic.'

Mountain escalator.

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

'How much is that yuppy in the window?'

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

'For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until you wish you were dead?'

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

Memo to all departments: NO!

"My wife says I bore people to death."

'Motivational poster,'

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

"Since when can this company afford bagels?"

Of all the days to sleep in!

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

"My Mother was right. She told me when I was eighteen, that if I married him it wouldnt last!"