Meeting Mocker Pillows

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

"Always faithful to arrive early and, of course, get the dibs on the jelly doughnuts."

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

Now, gentlemen, doesn't the smaller table make these board meetings more cozy?'

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"The starred items are hot and spicy."

'Haven't you heard? We're not going to discuss the company picnic - this is the company picnic.'

Mountain escalator.

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

'How much is that yuppy in the window?'

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

Memo to all departments: NO!

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

'For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until you wish you were dead?'

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

"My wife says I bore people to death."

'Motivational poster,'

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"Since when can this company afford bagels?"

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

"My Mother was right. She told me when I was eighteen, that if I married him it wouldnt last!"

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'