Reality Tv Mocker Gifts

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm an extremely general practitioner.'

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

Mountain escalator.

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

Earplugs £2 a Pair

'How much is that yuppy in the window?'

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

"My wife says I bore people to death."

'For better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until you wish you were dead?'

"I wouldn't usually say, 'she's always copying me' is grounds for divorce."

'Motivational poster,'

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

Of all the days to sleep in!

"My Mother was right. She told me when I was eighteen, that if I married him it wouldnt last!"

Freak Show

'Hmm...needs refining.'

'Leave me the figures on my voicemail... I never check it.'

'When you've seen one criminally violent, sex-filed horror play, you've seen the lot, I always say.'

'Hello, Mr Busino. I understand you're suffering from some drug side effects.'

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

Zoo keeper throwing food to himself.

Jesus' bones.

"He's a model husband...but not a working model."

"Down here every day is Monday."

The movie is so bad the server recommends ventilation.

No smoking sign in hell.

"You have been pre-approved for the platinum experience with cashback rewards."

Cows chasing bagpipes player.