Media Personnel Gifts

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

"And now a special report from 'News 4' Science Editor, Dr. Frank Lovell, on how to remove your own gallbladder."

'Well, freedom of the press would relieve the dungeon overcrowding.'

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

"Sir, what is your position on the issue of banana control?"

"Wow! I had no idea anyone gave a t**s!"

"And then I said, 'They're not Christians, they're Easter Worshippers!' Cause we can't say the 'C' word out. . ."

"On the record, I enthusiastically support a free and vibrant press. Off the record, I'd like to donkey-punch you in the sternum."

"I can only give you name rank and the number of my agent..."

"So it will be your job to take the old black and white films and give thema generous sprinkling of swear words."

News Headline Reads - 'Man Bites Feral Media'.

'If elected, I promise to do my darndest to get re-elected.'

'...This is the Ten O'Clock Report, brought to you by the Eleven O'Clock Report....'

The Media Awards Season Mixer

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

'Come on, you awful, bloody lot! I need one volunteer for the Charles interview.'

"I said 'Are you available for comment?' Sir Geoffey"

Epidemiological fence

Iraq War Correspondency on a Budget

Trial by Media

'How fast can you hype?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Gay Times...

If nobody had invented graphics

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

"Now we move over to the sports desk."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired