Media Person Gifts

'Jump, it's a quiet news day.'

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Occu-Pie Mars

In the Guru District

'How fast can you hype?'

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"National security adviser"

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Gay Times...

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

If nobody had invented graphics

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Meet the Enemy

Cord cutter

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Florida Governor, Rick Scott, cuts funding for rape victims.

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

"This just in: According to a recent poll, painkillers have replaced religion as the opiate of the masses."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'