Media Director Gifts

'Sixty Minutes is on line one... and Micheal Moore is on line two.'

Trial by Media

"The Net National Product rose slightly last month."

Occu-Pie Mars

"I'm afraid 'It's a surprise', doesn't cut it as a growth strategy."

In the Guru District

Squeezing the Free Press.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

Build your very own conflict of interest!

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

This is Lenny the leopard with the on-the-spot news.

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"National security adviser"

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'If only every year was an election year.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

BBC - Crisis Management, Damage Control and Liability Supervision.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Gay Times...

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"...And do you Sean Spicer take Kelly Anne Conway..." "The marriage of alternative facts"

If nobody had invented graphics

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'Fred, I want you to sanitize this, punch it up, dumb it down, leak it to the media and then be fully prepared to deny it!'

Meet the Enemy

'Thank heavens! For a minute there I thought it was the news!'

Cord cutter

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

Caution: Driver Watching "Hard Copy"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'